See icon above.

And I mean no one.

I'm angry - again. It's really exhausting work, this being angry business. I hope it's because of PMS because now I'm channeling all that anger into hatred and I really can't afford to be more of a misanthrope.

::

Job interview in half an hour. I know I won't take it because it won't pay enough but it's a great job and I weep at the injustice even now.

There has to be a position out there that's a bit less awful and pays about as much as the current one does.

See? I'm not even asking for a pay hike or significantly less hours. Something that doesn't demand 65 hour weeks and doesn't force me into prostitution on the side would be fine really.

And on that note, I HATE MY JOB.

::

Studio 60 last night was... Is Amanda Peet pregnant? And is Jordan going to get it on with Danny? I'd really like that. So much more than watching Matt and Harriett dance around the issue because it's getting tiresome and also because I really don't like Harriett as a character or the actress - she's too shiny.

::

Robert Altman died. RIP.

It's late afternoon on Friday. I have only one more hour left where I have to sit around and pretend to care about work before I can steal away from this hell hole.

So:

Stolen from witchofthedogs

1. What is your nearest lake or river?

The Maritsa in the West and Tigris and Euphrates in the East.

2. Do you believe in heaven?

I wish I did.

3. What's your lucky number?

Don't have one but I like 8 well enough.

4. Ever know anyone who appeared on a game show?

My uncle.

5. Charades: good times or lame?

*dreamy eyes* Good times...

If I don't find some good, original SPN fics to rekindle my interest soon, I'm going to bust something.

I still haven't settled enough to talk about the show itself. That'll come later, probably after I've decided if I'm mortified, awed or both. But the credits... The. Best. Credit. Sequence - EVER. The music, the shots, the editing. And that final ping! right when he looks away at the end. Yeah. I may very well decide that the show is a testament to the depravity of post-Postmodernity but the credits are a work of art.

"The world is wrong! We're feeding people who do not love us and saving a man who wants us dead. I've changed my mind. I no longer love you. Now can I eat? "
-- Much

"I did it. I shot the Sheriff."
-- Would-be assassin

"No.. You shot the deputy. "
-- Sheriff of Nottingham

weltschmerz \VELT-shmairts\ noun, often capitalized

1 : a mental depression or apathy caused by comparison of the actual state of the world with an ideal state
2 : a mood of sentimental sadness

::
::

I fell in love with Danny Tripp. He was standing there, with his arm on the wall and his head down, just listening and it might have been staged with the long shot and the lighting and the contrived plot with its 'twists' you could see coming from a mile away but... I was watching and he looked up with this look on his face and I fell in love. My first non-woobie love affair and I'm even ready to ship Danny/Jordan.

Strange times.

In other news, the world takes a moment when Dean cries in that baby-like, innocent, ethereally beautiful sort of way. This show will kill me. I don't even have to read fanfic anymore. Gah! Just... And even the MotW worked. Insofar as it was instrumental in the season/character arcs. I just wish I could feel this way about a smarter show. Friday Night Lights maybe..

Love Sonnet XVII
by Pablo Neruda

I don't love you as if you were the salt-rose, topaz
or arrow of carnations that propagate fire:
I love you as certain dark things are loved,
secretly, between the shadow and the soul.
I love you as the plant that doesn't bloom and carries
hidden within itself the light of those flowers,
and thanks to your love, darkly in my body
lives the dense fragrance that rises from the earth.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,
I love you simply, without problems or pride:
I love you in this way because I don't know any other way of loving

but this, in which there is no I or you,
so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand,
so intimate that when I fall asleep it is your eyes that close.

It turns out today is tenaciousmetoo's birthday (if witchofthedogs is to be believed and why shouldn't she?)

So, HAPPY BIRTHDAY tenaciousmetoo! I hope you're having a good one..

ETA: And as a present for me (MEMEMEME) I got the S1 DVDs for both SPN and Veronica Mars!

Joy! Oh Joy! The best thing that happened to me this entire week! Suddenly, I love life!

ETA 2: Jensen Ackles reminds me of Matthew MacFadyen.

It's a wednesday that feels like a cross between monday and thursday. 9 something in the morning and work is just starting and all I can think about is going home. I'm wearing a bra that makes me itch and shoes that hurt my feet. My hair is a mess and my eyes feel puffy. The coffee machine is broken so I had to drink tea. Someone replied to a mail I sent out at work and basically told me my entire department was clueless and inept. I'm looking at a 12-hour work day. The view outside my office window is buildings and more buildings of the 'third world country, bad city planning, deforestation' variety.

I'm unhappy today.

"Why is it that, as a culture, we are more comfortable seeing two men holding guns than holding hands?" - Ernest Gaines

We would like to know who really believes in gay rights on livejournal.There is no bribe of a miracle or anything like that. If you truly believe in gay rights, then repost this and title the post as "Gay Rights". If you don't believe in gay rights, then just ignore this. Thanks.

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.

To continue with stuff that annoys me in fic (because segues are brilliant things and I need to vent after reading a gazillion posts about IMToD):

* Lines like
'I'm going to the special hell'

or

'xxxx told me she'd write myfavoritekinkporn if I wrote maid/doctor/garbage collector/middle-aged english teacher!fic, so this is all her fault'

in the author's notes.

Because that's just annoying and juvenile. And take some credit already! And Barthes was right when he said "One mimics silliness in order to make the public protest in one's favour, and thus carry it along advantageously from complicity in helplessness to complicity in intelligence." (1) Take a hike and read 'The Emperor's Clothes' for the love of God.


* The inability to stick to a single tense.

It doesn't take much, really. You just have to read what you wrote once. Only once, from beginning to end. If you don't do so and end up mixing tenses (resulting in 'She woke up to find him standing by her bed' being followed by 'He looks angry, a dark flush stains his cheeks'), that makes me feel like you respect neither yourself nor me.

If you can't be bothered with a single read-through, I can't be bothered to read.

::
::

I have work stuff to take care of, e-mails to write, thoughts about IMToD to jot down but I'm the queen of avoidance and denial so I'll keep on pretending I can afford to watch the episode over and over again while drinking unhealthy quantities of wine -wine that will surely give me a headache tomorrow at work- instead of crossing things off my to-do list. Yes, I will.

::
::

The janitor guy was in Lost, Bones and one other show I can't remember. Tessa was in One Tree Hill. Sometimes, the six degrees thing makes me jiggle with glee.

::
::

What is with the focus-pulling thing Manners kept doing? It gets old, you know. And really, the coffee? No. I wish they'd ban slow motion photography from film and television once and for all. Am I the only person who thinks it's a tired, decade-old trick we've had enough of?

::
::

Yeah, the scrubs were hot. So was the white t-shirt. Jensen is always hot, why are we even discussing this?

And that line? "Aren't you even gonna say anything?"

I just know I'll have it playing on a loop in my mind all day tomorrow and probably longer. Sort of like how have a song stuck on your mind all day and when you wake up the next morning, you realize you're still brain-humming it and it was actually the soundtrack to your dreams? Except, not annoying like that because: Jensen. Dean. Oh, Dean!

And while we're on the subject, as far as I'm concerned, he had decided to leave. And when he remembers everything, I'm hoping for some trauma.



1 Barthes, Roland. Mythologies. New York: Hill and Wang, 1972;1986. p.34.

Mother. Fucker.

I'm watching it! And, ohmigod! Ben Edlund is a consulting producer???? The ben edlund of Firefly and Angel and BtVS???? Oh sweet, sweet fate! My expectations just skyrocketed like crazy.

Off to continue.

I wanted to say, for the record, that I love Numb3rs. There's not a single thing about it that I don't like. I love the actors, I love the stories, I love the corny, almost forced integration of math into every little step of the investigation, I even love its procedural nature even though I hate procedurals.

Now, finally, I can watch the premiere of SPN. How much longer could I have drawn this out? Not any, at all.

Just watched Studio 60 because the gods of the net are angry with me and won't allow me to complete my dl of Supernatural. Might as well talk about that while I wait.

( Spoilers for Studio 60 1x01 )

I can't do this. I can't. It's an itch under my skin. I just know I'll break down and look at everything everyone's saying. I can't stand the wait anymore.
*cries*
Please.

COME ON people! Wake up already.